After Officer Ripkin left the house, Jay left. He went home. Showered and changed into sweats. He rummaged through the closet and found his sleeping bag from the cabin. He'd tossed it in the closet without giving it a second thought until this morning. He unrolled the sleeping bag and shook it till the hunting knife dropped on the floor. He'd tucked it in the bag the night they spent outside, sleeping next to the fire at the cabin. When Julia rolled up the sleeping bag, she rolled the knife up with it. He attached the sheath to the waistband of his shorts that he wore under his sweats.
He went running, but took a different route. He started off down his street following the path he'd seen the man run, going up and down the blocks in his neighborhood, scanning the the neighborhood. He was looking for something out of place, something odd in the landscape that wasn't usually there. He was looking for him. He wanted to shred that asshole. Cut him up in pieces. But if he found him, he'd only make the police aware and wait. He wasn't crazy was he? He wasn't in danger. He wanted to find him badly. But he saw nothing odd, nothing out of the ordinary.
He thought about the morning, how pissed off Cal was. Jay was sober, but the rest of them he ripped a new asshole. He called Chess's mom. Aunt Sandy was pissed at 6am picking up her stoned son. He reeked of pot and alcohol. He was supposed to be at his grandmother's house with Jay. Hayley's dad was in a similar mood. They were both grounded till after Christmas. Somehow Jay had come through the ordeal without a scratch. He wasn't in trouble with Cal and he doubted that Cal would be taking a walk over to grandmom's house to discuss his behavior. He was the only one there that wasn't drunk or high. Julia was in trouble, grounded from going out anywhere, but where did she really go?
"Can we still take the kids to the Festival on Sunday with Jay? It's family day, dad." Julia whined.
"Julia, go to your room." Was all he had said.
He walked Jay to the door. "Did you see where he went?"
"Up that way." Jay answered, pointing down the block. "By the time I got down there, he was a ghost. I didn't see him and I couldn't catch him."Jay paused. " But I'm going running. If I see him I'm going after him. And I'll catch him this time."
"If you see him you call the cops, Jay. Be smart."
He didn't see hide nor hair of him. But Jay would not stop looking. From that minute on, his eyes were wide open and the knife was on his side. He'd be smart first, like Cal advised. But smart didn't always work.
Julia had gone back to sleep a couple hours, but woke up with a nightmare of glass breaking in pitch darkness. Shadows on her walls, heavy breathing near her ear. And fear. She felt fear. Dad was in her room once she woke up and nailed her window shut. He didn't tell her about the old wooden box he'd found beside the house. He tossed it in the trash, called officer Ripkin and caught him before he'd left from his shift. He updated him that the man had been there more than once. Cal was pissed, thinking his daughter wasn't safe in her own home. The possibility that someone was looking at her regularly or would even consider harming his daughter was terrifying to him as a parent. And as a man he wanted to do as Jay wanted to do, catch him.
By Sunday, Caleb had grown annoyed and disturbed by his horny little house mate. He'd taken to duct taping her mouth again. She didn't know when to shut the fuck up. Constant babbling, trying to get to know him, constant prying for information. Being subordinate and trying to earn his trust to escape were 2 different things. He was hip to her game. She wasn't hip to his. She was never leaving him alive, he'd known that the first day he'd seen her. She wasn't a fighter either, wasn't putting up any sort of struggle. She was too easy, too calm, too pleasing.
He sat at his desk, jotting down notes detailing yesterday's trip to the Festival. "I'd like to take her to a place like that again one day, when we settle down south. We'll walk hand in hand. We'll be playful and loving toward each other. Mama will approve."
He switched to the back of the book and jotted down Susie-Q's information. No one missed her and no one came looking for her. No search party, no news conference, no media fanfare, not even a newspaper article or blurb. No one gives a shit about a missing hooker. Nothing changes. No one ever looked for the other whores he'd taken and set free from a life of addiction or misery. They were the ones society had overlooked and forgotten about. He gathered her belongings in a brown paper bag and set it by the bedroom door. He wasn't through with her yet. He looked her over as she lay on the bed, not moving, not asleep, not awake. Deep in thought or prayer, only Susie-Q knew what was going on in her head. He didn't particularly care. He would set her free soon, remove her from the house in the early hours before work, dispose of her on the way to work on Monday morning. He'd drop her back off behind the bar. Eventually, someone would find her bruised and battered body. He tethered her securely to the bed again, face down, with his straps. He got behind her and raped her again, sodomizing her til she was raw and bleeding, screaming though no one heard her cries.
He arrived at the address on her ID. An older, single house on a quiet street. An older man was in the yard with a rake, dragging leaves into a huge pile by the curb. Two little boys, both with blond hair ran and jumped into the leaf pile. Her sons, Devon and Dylan. The boys ages 3 and 4, that she swore she lived for. They were with their grandfather, laughing and playing, throwing brown, dead leaves around the curb. He drove away and went to her real home. Because Susie-Q was an addict. Because she lost her children. She smoked them away in a crack pipe.
Her real place was a mess. Trash, take out wrappers, mice droppings. The roaches skittered away when he went inside. He rummaged around a bit. Nothing of interest. No belongings he could junk or sell. He left. By the time he returned, he was comfortable with taking her life. She had nothing and meant nothing to no one. Her boys were taken care of by good people. Good people raise bad people sometimes. He wouldn't let her have any more interaction with those precious boys. He was doing them a favor getting rid of her. There was no hope for her. Her time was up.
He stood at the window, watching his angel as she piled into the car with her dad, the boyfriend and the kids. He was pained because he couldn't go with them today. He didn't know where she was going or what she would do. It would be too risky to go out and track her today. They'd be looking for him. The boy had already been sniffing around the end of the block where he'd run Friday night. He had been in the patch of trees there at the end of the block. He'd run the streets surrounding the houses.
Lay low for now. Just lay low.
Susie-Q started whimpering from her spot on the bed. Her bleeding had stopped. She was filthy and had soiled herself. He released her, demanded she clean up. First his area and his bed. As she did so, he ordered her to bend over at the foot of his bed. Spread her labia, play with herself. He ordered her to finish up, then watched as she scrubbed herself clean, washing away the blood, urine and feces from her flesh. He saw she was in pain. She trembled and wept silently. He watched as she scrubbed herself clean, washing away the blood, urine and feces from her flesh. He saw she was in pain. She trembled and wept silently. He held her against the wall of the room, twisted her head until he felt her neck break. She fell limp to the floor. He picked up her body and laid her on the bed, removed the duct tape from her mouth. He covered her with his body and made love to her. She was now an angel. He'd redeemed her and sent her to the Kingdom.
"Julia, relax. You're safe." Jay reassured her. Julia had been skittish all afternoon. Constantly looking around her and jumpy. Her nerves were attacking her.
"That's easy for you to say, Jay." Julia snapped.
Jay lifted his hoodie to show her the knife he had strapped to the waist of his jeans. She rolled her eye.
"Really, Jay. What are you gonna do with that?"
"Later I'm going to show you a few tricks to get away from someone, get someone off of you."
"Oh, really. You are?" She asked. "I can't believe this shit, Jay."
"It's the difference between breathing and not breathing. Point is do not give up. You fight till your last breath."
"You haven't been in a fight in your life."
He stared at her. "You sure about that?" She was silent, turning her attention back to the kids. "Sometimes the fight isn't physical. It's as equally mental."
Dad brought Ellen to family day. Julia had met Ellen briefly once. She was nice. Soft spoken and pleasant. A pretty smile. A bit hefty in the waist, but not obese. She brought her son, Andy, with her. He was a 14, Jay knew him from school. Julia was caught by surprise at the son standing beside his mom. He didn't want to be at the Festival, making family time with strangers. When he saw Jay, he relaxed a bit. Jay was just Jay. He was an athlete, an all around cool guy. He didn't know him to talk to him or hang out with him, but knew of him. He was easily one of the most popular guys in school, the nicest by far. Everyone liked him and wanted to hang out with him. His cousins, Ray and Chess, were cool people too. They were always together, the three of them and the girls, too.
Cal and Ellen split off for coffee and left Andy with Julia, Jay and the kids.
Andy and Julia sat at the ice rink while Jay was on ice with Alex. Tatia slept in her stroller.
"So, our parents seem to be getting close." Julia said, initiating conversation with him.
"Yeah, I think so." He replied. "We never saw you at any of the meetings, Julia. Why don't you go?"
"What meetings?" She asked confused.
"The support group. I don't really go as much as I used to, cause they're really depressing. I can't do that. But sometimes I go to support my mom."
"Andy, what support group?"
Cal had started going to support group meetings before Rose had died. Hospice had recommended the group because it was for the families of loved ones that are dying or have died from cancer. Julia was shocked. Her dad hadn't mentioned once that he was going to meetings. Andy's dad died of pancreatic cancer 3 months before Rose had died of breast cancer. They met before Julia's mother had even passed away, long before she had taken her last breath. While her mother was awake and active and struggling at times, her father knew Ellen. They'd only been dating a short time, but they'd known each other for months now. Julia didn't know how to react to that. They were a source of support and love for each other.
"You didn't know." Andy said, apologizing. "I'm sorry. I thought you knew."
Julia watched Jay and Alex try to skate the rink. Her support group was on ice before her eyes. Julia felt betrayed, but understood needing someone to talk to, someone to help make sense of something that made no sense. She felt left out, nonetheless. Maybe she would have appreciated the offer at least to join him, but that would detract from his connection to Ellen.
"Your dad's a great guy. He talks about you all the time."
"All the time, Andrew. Until today I had only met your mom once. And I didn't even know you existed." Julia told him, shocked to learn of this part of her father from a virtual stranger. A stranger that he seemed to know well. Well enough for Andy to consider him a great guy. Julia looked at him as if he'd just given her the cure to cancer. His brown hair fell over his brown eyes. Thin and tall. A soft, friendly voice. A nice smile. "Hey, Andrew. It's great to meet you. So you go to school with Jay?" She joked to avoid the uncomfortable feeling between them at that moment.
Andrew and Julia became fast friends, learning about each others' likes and interests. It was easy to talk to Andy, he seemed more mature than his age. They talked about their parents, how they died. Andy hadn't been there when his dad died like Julia had been when Rose died. He'd been at school. Julia had wanted to spend every last breath with Rose.
"And Jay was there through it all. I love him for that. He's stronger than me." Julia explained. "I didn't know about that support group and didn't know how long he'd been seeing your mom, but if Ellen is anything to him like Jay has been for me, then I understand. Everyone needs someone."
"I don't know if they're all that deep, Julia."
Julia shrugged. "But it's cool meeting you. If they are serious, I guess I'll see you a lot more."
"Yeah, that'd be real cool. I like you. I didn't know what to expect, y'know."
"Yeah, I know. "
"You think they'll move in together?"
"I have no idea."Julia answered, thinking she didn't know her dad as well as she thought. And it wasn't like they weren't close or they didn't talk or trust each other.
Ellen and Andy planned on joining them back at the house for dinner and the football games. Since they arrived in separate cars, Ellen was following them to the house.
Julia took advantage of her time in the car to vent to her father about Ellen and the information she'd learned from Andy.
"So you are in a support group and you've known Ellen for a long time I hear from Andy. And thanks for telling me about Andy. Way to catch me off guard." She said, feeling a little testy. "So why be all secretive? Really. A girlfriend, a support group that you've been going to for months, a son that's my age. Are you planning on moving in with her, moving us in with her? Is that why our house is for sale? You have left me out of a huge part of your life here, dad. You could have clued me in."
"I don't know how I feel about Ellen. And a lot of it I kept from you because you just lost your mom. I was trying to spare you-"
"Spare me from what? You think I would care if you were seeing someone? Did you think I'd be angry or selfish or mean to her or something?"
"I didn't want to hurt you."
"So you'd prefer to piss me off? I thought we didn't keep things from each other. That's what you always told me." Julia argued. "You know everything about me. I talk openly about everything. You mean to tell me it only goes one way?"
"Julia, I don't want you to think I am replacing Rose and I don't want you to think I am trying to force another whole family onto you."
"Well that's what you're doing. I'd rather hear about it up front and deal with it than have it come out like this from someone I don't even know."
"I'm sorry, Julia. I thought it would be best this way."
"You thought lying and keeping secrets is best." Julia remarked. "How long have you been seeing Ellen? And not just in a group. Were you cheating on my mother with her?"
"God, Julia Jillian, no. And don't you ever accuse me of that."
"So you don't know how you feel about Ellen? Andy seems to think you're serious enough to move in with her. Is that why our house is for sale?"
"Yes, Julia. It is."
The car pulled into the driveway and dad put it in park. Julia was pissed. She helped the kids out and pulled out Tatia's car seat and stroller. Jay took the kids ahead to his house. "This is my home!" Julia spat at him loudly. "And that's my room and this is where I grew up.I cannot believe you'll get rid of a house we're not losing. You lied to me!"
"Julia, why do you think I'd want to live in a house, lay in a bed that I shared with someone else? A constant reminder, Julia."
"I understand that. I get it. I do. But you lied to me. You kept this from me."
"Julia, calm down."
Ellen's car pulled to the curb and they got out of the car.
"I come to you, don't I? I tell you things that no father should know and things that normal fucking kids do not tell their fucking parents. And you have the nerve to keep ALL of this from me?"
Julia picked up the diaper bag and the stroller and the car seat."I trusted you...that you wouldn't lie to me...to just do this without even consulting me."
"I didn't think you'd understand. I thought you'd be angry. I thought you'd hate me."
"Because you may want to move on with your life? Your life affects me!" Julia screamed. She looked at Ellen. Calmed a bit, "And this has nothing to do with you. I am sure you're a lovely person, but... "
Julia dropped the car seat. The stroller moved, the diaper bag half emptied out. Andy went to her side and started to pick things up. Julia slammed the car door shut.
"Thanks, Andy. And thank you, dad."
She started walking toward Jay's house with the kids' stuff. She turned to Andy who was just standing there beside the car. "Well, are you coming or not?"
He stepped away from the car and followed her. Heading where, he wasn't sure. But he followed her.
Julia sat on the back steps by herself. She was crying and she usually didn't spend a lot of time crying or dwelling on the fucked up things in life. She usually let things roll off her back. Things could always be worse, but she felt hurt and betrayed. She spent 40 minutes on the phone with Hayley, going over the afternoon and all she'd found out. She thought Hayley may be mad at her because of Cal calling her dad at the crack of dawn, but she wasn't. "It's no big deal." Hayley laughed. "My dad was mad about getting up that early." She was still in trouble, but for about a week. And even then, it wasn't a big deal. She'd done worse and hadn't got caught, "so this is karma kicking me in my ass."
Jay peeked outside after she'd hung up with Hayley.
"Is it safe yet?"
"Yeah, " Julia laughed. "I guess."
Andy followed him outside and they sat on the steps with her. Andy felt horrible, "I should have kept my mouth shut."
"Andy, this is not your fault. Eventually I would have found out the truth."
"Are you alright?" He asked.
"Oh, I am. I got it all out." She said. "I haven't felt this awful since she died. Like I have been pulled apart at the seams."
"I think we know how that feels." Jay agreed, putting his arm around her.
Julia got the text from her dad. Ellen was leaving. Andy needed to go home. She walked with Andy to the house and met his mom outside at the car. She spoke with Ellen, apologized for acting like a lunatic. "I want you to know I have no hard feelings with you. I'd like to get to know you. Today just wasn't your day."
"Julia, you need to talk to your dad when you calm down. And I'd like that very much. You're a good kid and your dad loves you very much."
"Don't feel like you have to hide out at your place all the time. You can come here. I won't bite." Julia joked. "And Andy, he's pretty great."
Julia gave her a hug good bye and went inside her own house. She walked to her room and closed the door. She went straight to sleep.
Jay couldn't sleep though. The house was silent. Only the clocks ticking picked at the darkness. The meditation didn't help him fall asleep either. He texted Julia, but she didn't answer. He lay there in his bed, the space heater buzzing on to reheat the room. He got up, did dishes, started laundry, picked up stray toys and had a snack. He even jerked off. Still wide awake with his thoughts. He was angry, wishing he'd found the guy on his run yesterday morning. Wishing he'd found something. He was worried about Julia. He had thoughts of strangers standing at Julia's window and him not being there to protect her or catch him. He'd been outside several times, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. Cal was home, which relieved his fears.
3am he finally slept, watching Law and Order. Two and a half hours later he was up, dressed, and ready for his run. The cold cut him as he stepped outside. He nearly turned around and went back inside. He stretched, jogged down the street to Julia's and her light was on in her room. Way too early, he thought. He stopped and texted her.
She came outside a moment later.
"Babe, shit. It's cold outside. You running?"
"Yeah, why are you awake?"
She went down the steps to him, hugged him, gave him a kiss. "Went to sleep as soon as I got back here. I been up an hour or so."
"Wanna run with me?"
"I can't keep up. You know."
"Go throw on some sweats and some sneakers. We'll go slow." He urged. "Babe, please, run off all that bull shit from yesterday."
"Ok, but you may wind up walking."
Julia realized just how out of shape she really was. For someone so small and thin, she had no stamina. She pushed herself to keep up, when Jay's morning run turned into a morning trot. He turned around, jogging backwards, "Jules, my sister can run faster than you." He teased.
"My, God, what was I thinking doing this?"
"Come on. Push yourself a little. Concentrate on letting it all go. You got size on your side."
Julia couldn't get into a zone to let it all go like he did. She jogged along quietly, thinking she was going to eventually pass out. She envied him, that he could do this amount of physical exertion on a daily basis with hardly no sleep and before his day began for real. They ran the blocks in the radius of their own street, stopping finally at Mr G's shop. Jay head inside for her coffee while she stayed outside composing herself, sweat beaded on her forehead. While stretching like he told her to do, she saw the truck driving down the empty street. Behind the wheel, an outline of a male driver. The truck slowed as it approached her and veered slightly toward the sidewalk. She froze as the truck slowed, staring at the man that sat behind the wheel.
He lifted the body over the side of the truck and dropped her inside the bed. Susie-Q was wrapped tight in the blue, quilted movers' blanket that had shrouded Amanda and others before her. He then got inside the cab and waited for the truck to warm up and the windshield to defrost. Beside him on the driver's seat sat a brown paper bag that contained Susie-Q's clothing, purse and its contents and shoes. He kept her cash and her chewing gum. While waiting for the windshield to clear, Julia and Jay passed his truck. On the opposite side of the street they jogged past him. Once out of their view, he scraped the icy layer from blocking his vision and drove off. He circled the neighborhood a couple times, thought they couldn't have gone too far. He decided to give up. Drive to the alleyway behind the bar to rid himself of her body. He got to work. He thought they may have gone back home. He drove the main road when he saw her stretching. He slowed, swerved to the right. Now, he thought. She stood still. She saw him coming toward her. She didn't move, didn't run. It was like she waited for him, knew he was coming. He stopped the truck at the curb. He didn't have long.
Julia froze. She couldn't move. When the truck stopped in front of her, the window rolled down a couple inches. Still fogged the majority of the window, she couldn't see him clearly, but his outline was clear. His voice stabbed her ears. "Get in, Julia, I'll give you a ride."
"No." She spat, stretching to see through the 2 inch gap.
She reached to her pocket for her cell that she didn't bring along. She took a step back toward the door to Mr G's. Out of the corner of her eye she saw shadows moving, people inside Mr G's for their morning coffee before work. She heard the click of the door unlatching, then the door flung open toward her. His body was lightening fast as he slid across the seat toward her. She saw him clearly now, the brown hair, the stubble on his face, the bizarre brown eyes that set fear alive inside her.
"NNNNoooooo!" She screamed as his arm grabbed her arm. He had her by the sleeve of her hoodie, which she pulled out of and left the hoodie pull over her head. She bolted, leaving him holding her sweatshirt. She ran as fast as her two feet could move. Faster than she'd ever run on any track or on any street that morning with Jay. She ran home.
He jumped quickly back inside the truck, pulling the door closed behind him. He threw the truck in drive and spun his tires getting away from the coffee shop.
Jay stepped outside with Julia's coffee. She was gone. The hoodie lay on the curb. A truck sped away from Mr G's, spinning tires, turning a hard right at the corner. He dropped the coffee and started running. He'd never run that fast. Fear was a great motivator.
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